Hi. Hello everybody. I'm new here to this site, but not to the blogging world. I'm a member of Xanga, which is how if found this site. I'm not really sure how to meet new people or find people to "friend" so hopefully people will find me, which will help me find other people, and on and on.
My intent for this blog more or less is to talk about my current relationship- my hopes, my questions, my thoughts... you know how it is. Pretty much i'll just write stream-of-conscience, so whatever comes into my head will usually end up in typing. Just a warning, it can be weird at times. But thats ok.
I'm a big believer of the simple pleasures of life. I love adventure sports (outdoor stuff, water stuff, pretty much anything). I'm adventurous and always open to trying/learning new things. I love my friends to death. They're pretty much my family. I'm very happy and upbeat... it's hard to find me in a bad mood or not smiling- i enjoy being kind to people because i feel really bad when i'm mean to someone. I have a bit of a sarcastic side, but usually only with my friends because they understand it, find it funny, and pretty much always tease me for just about anything, even if it's totally out in left field. I'm not offended easily. I'm very laid back.
And most of all, i have a wonderful boyfriend, Jaymie, who i love very much. We've been together for a relatively short time, but our relationship is so strong, sometimes it feels like we've been together for ages. We get along, understand each other, we're always learning more about each other, our personalities match, and most importantly, we love each other.
I've always been a doubter, of sorts, of relationships in general. I used to be hopeful about them, but after a series of bad relationships and settling for guys that in hindsight i shouldn't have, i began to become cycinical about men and about dating. After my last relationship ended over a year ago, i decided that i was done with the dating world for a while. I took time off and thoroughly enjoyed the single life. Jaymie changed all of that for me, and although i tried to be resistant to it at first, it was impossible to keep up. And that's sorta how i knew that it was ok for me to let it happen. While many other guys had shown interest before him, he was the first that i truly could not say no to. So i decided to let go one more time and let it happen. And it was the best decision i could ever have made.
I never used to believe that you could know you loved someone without being with them for a few months, and i thought that you couldn't possibly know that you'd want to marry someone without being with them for even more time. When both of these feelings arrived in my mind (at different times) i was still a bit wary because i was afraid that these feelings i was having were somehow due to a desire to feel those things for another person, regardless of if i truly felt them for that person in particular. But i've come to trust my heart. I'm leaning on the foundation of letting myself go and allowing myself to love freely and without inhibition. I've come to believe that the best way to go is to give of myself totally and completely, and if it doesn't work out in the end, sure i'll be crushed and it will be a huge heart break that will take a lot of time to recover from, but that will be better than being with someone that i'm not meant to be with.
Jaymie has taught me to think and feel this way without even knowing it or doing anything, which is why i believe that we will end up drooling all over ourselves and forgetting our names together a few decades from now. That is if we manage to not kill ourselves climbing some ridiculous cliff or mountain in the mean time (we do a lot of crazy, adventurous things involving dangling from cliffs several hundred or so feet from the ground). It's a cool feeling. i'm glad i've gotten to that point.
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